


Should've loved you

by Accohen



Series: Forgiveness [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Friendship, Love, M/M, angust, soul mates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-02-09 19:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12894903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accohen/pseuds/Accohen
Summary: Percy wasn't sure when all had started. Maybe it was at some point during the war against Gaea, or even before that, when Percy for the first time put his eyes on that sweet and innocent orphan, a kid, a survivor, just like him, left behind in a world full of monsters and mythology. If it wasn’t for his racing heart and shaking hands, he would've lost the moment where their souls touched, creating the thread that would bond them together for the rest of their lives. No one had told him how much would hurt, or what that hurt would mean, this urge born within himself, already forgotten by the contemporary world and erased from the human minds. No one had told him, but, yet, Percy knew, he had found his soul mate; something more ancient than time itself, the deepest, the purest love, decided by the fate and blessed by the gods, unchangeable and unbreakable, where no creature, alive or dead, could destroy.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Deveria Ter Te Amado](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4311210) by [Accohen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accohen/pseuds/Accohen). 



> Hi. Welcome back! This is the series Forgiveness sequel and a long one. I'm not sure how long, because I can add more things as I write. 
> 
> I would like the thank all the comments in the first part. Thank you so much!
> 
> So go ahead and have fun.

This was the moment Percy had waited for. The night was falling and no one would be able to stop him from doing what he needed to do.

"I don't wanna leave." Percy said, lowering his head and breathing the familiar scent from the boy's olive skin and dark hair.

 Percy wasn't sure when all had started. Maybe at some point during the war against Gaea, or even before that, when Percy for the first time put his eyes on that sweet and innocent orphan, a kid and survivor, just like him, left behind in a world full of monsters and mythology. If it wasn’t for his racing heart and shaking hands, barely holding him up, he would've lost the moment, the exact second where their eyes met and their souls touched, creating the thread that would bond them together for the rest of their lives.

You see, Percy thought to be happy, the happiest a man like him could be. Because, for the first time, he wasn't afraid, he was where he meant to be and exactly where he wanted to, with his arms around the one destined and design just to him, feeling like they finally, truly, belong together.

Every minute was worth. Every energy spent. Every sacrifice made, if the result was to see him happy.

Percy looked down and for one moment, he thought the boy in his arms had woken up. The boy smiled and cuddled back, rubbing his face in the curve of Percy's neck, purring in his sleep and Percy felt warm inside, something heady and intimate, running through his stomach and reaching his entire body, keeping his heart and mind momentarily whole. Then, Percy sneered, realizing that in his early forties and with a five o'clock shadow, he still had the ability to torture himself like that.

In the end, the Gods were right. Love was something dangerous.

Percy allowed himself one last touch and held on the face of his beloved one, stroking the skin behind the neck, already knowing what that gesture would cause.

The boy leaned against him and bit his own swollen lips, trying to hold back a stubborn whimper.

 "I miss you already.” He said quietly, kissing the boy's neck.

The boy, now, almost a full grown up, breathed, stirring on the bed before going back to sleep. Percy breathed together with him, without really understanding, but knowing what he had to do.

An invisible pain came crashing into him, pounding his veins and filling his chest with more emptiness.

That pain made no sense, a missing limb, a hurt that don't really hurted, emotional and spiritual, stucked with him during the last two thirds of his life. It was something that would always remind Percy the mistakes he had done, another among so many others, something that made him want to scream, a want that kept urging him, begging him, for just one more moment. He wanted to touch and wanted to kiss, he wanted to worship every part of his boy and hold him until they could be one; breath the same air and think the same thoughts. But... but he wouldn’t disturb the sleeping form, he was scared a single touch would make the boy in his arms disappear again, just before his eyes, taking away the only thing that still could make him feel.

The dark olive skinned boy shifted again on the bed, nearly sitting in his lap, grabbing Percy by the neck. Percy slowly let go from the boy's waist and allowed the small body to settle down on the bed. He gave a step back and then another, feeling the air escaping his lungs. He gave one more step and was like the emptiness was spreading through his chest, swallowing him whole. The pain increased and expanded until Percy couldn't stand up, until he was forced to back off, once and for all.

He fought. Oh, if he did. He thought the best thing to do was to stay and then the best was to go. He used swords, fists and every trick known by mankind. He fought until he couldn't anymore, feeling the hole in his chest turn into concrete, but at least, that was something he could handle, something he could protect, and maybe, just maybe, when the time was right, the soul that belonged to him would turn to his rightful place. But no one had told him how much would hurt, or what that hurt would mean, this urge born within himself, already forgotten by the contemporary world and erased from the human minds. No one had told him, but, yet, Percy knew, he had found his soul mate. Something more ancient than time itself, the deepest, the purest love, decided by the fate and blessed by the gods, unchangeable and unbreakable, where no creature, alive or dead, could destroy. 

In the end, staying turned out to be a mistake. Trying to protect him so much only brought pain, only brought more hurt, and by framing the boy, shaping him just like a pattern in a panting, Percy built the perfect toy, with matching beliefs, desires and tastes. The one who would do everything to please him. The perfect mate.

Percy finally hobbled from the bed and put the bag on his shoulder. He wasn't worthy of his other half. He was disgusting, he was a monster. He was just as bad as the gods that he for so long had criticized, because now he was doing the same, he was doing what he loathed the most, destroying and controlling the only person he truly loved, the only thing he never wished to have any claim over.  

 That was the reason he needed to go.

He looked one more time to the bed, seeing his boy lying down and relaxed, like no problem in the world could affect him, and then, Percy took a deep breath and walked out of the door without looking back.


	2. Should've fought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo, how's everything going?  
> Another chapter.  
> I hope you like.

Nico was falling through the skies, down and down, out of control, dropped by the shadows in a rampant like a flaming meteorite, collapsing on the ground and shaking the earth and everything else around him. 

And, with a loud bang, he reaches the land, sinking with Athena Paternos still tied to him, making a big hole where he was now kneeling.

Gods! Things couldn't be worse. He thought something was broken. Or everything. With his clothes in tatters, Nico held himself, trying not to throw up. He supported himself on the grass and squeezed his stomach, resting against the statue with closed eyes while the world spun around him. His wounds didn't help either. His legs and arms throbbed with a deep hurt while his muscles protested at the slightest attempt to move. It felt like he was carrying the weight of the world. 

For that reason, he stayed right where he was, still and almost without breathing, he had luck to have gotten there, despite not knowing where he was and much less the whereabouts of his friends. However, the shadows that guided him until that point were very sure; Nico was situated somewhere upstate in New York, near the camp half-blood. He's only hope was to arrive before the Romans and Greeks could destroy themselves. 

He just needed some rest. Just a little. Even though he knew he couldn’t. 

He didn't understand what caused him to move, but he knew, something was bound to happen soon. He could feel a throbbing flutter on the right side of his chest and the blessing from the gods, which he never wanted, exploding in his senses, telling him: Nico had to move, needed to continue... just one more step.

Opening his eyes, Nico held back a groan of pain. There was light, so much light that he couldn't see anything beyond the blinding flash. He blinked and then came the sharpness; sounds of swords, cries, and moans of pain. 

He was facing his worst nightmare.  

Gaea, the earth mother, was rising up above the ground and shining like only an entity that old could have done. She sat on her throne of earth and rocks at the top of half-blood Hill, watching the wet earth trembling and swallowing everything around it and with a calm and compassionate face, she gleamed in the dim sunlight like the beams of light exists only to please her. Her beauty was such that Nico couldn't describe if someone asked him.

They were lost. No matter what they did; even though the two camps worked together, Gaea was about to wake up for good in a few seconds, not to mention the Giants to be defeated. But, no. Gaea wasn't what was bothering him. At the moment, Percy who was cornered by one of the Giants was what distress him. Polybotes was getting closer with each decided step, approaching the son of Poseidon, the descendant of his greatest enemy. He had a spear that shined like the blackest sea Nico had ever seen; a spear so thin and with so much poison that even the purest water couldn't cure.   

 "Oh! Perseus Jackson! I'm sure mom will be as pleased as if it was Poseidon himself attached to my spear." The giant said, swinging the spear and ripping out trees and everything else in his way.

Percy was trying to defend himself as best as he could; he had a broken arm, lying useless next to his body and the other one was shaking, holding the faithful sword Riptide, and crawling back with wobbly legs, forcing his body to obey him without taking his eyes off the massive spear in front of him. About to be sliced and no way out, the only way was the abyss behind him.  

Nico was sure, Percy would die as a true hero and after all his efforts, he couldn't let Percy sacrifice himself, already feeling the thread of the demigod's life bleeding out in front of his eyes. 

This wouldn't happen as long as Nico was alive.

 "Percy! Behind you!" Nico howled, getting up from the ground, untying and slipping away from Athena Paternos. 

He only had one chance and wouldn't fail this time.

-x-

The thing was, in the end, it would be an easy decision. 

All because Nico was a selfish person. 

He wasn’t afraid to say it and it was simple, really; he didn't want to live in a world without Percy Jackson, without his fool dork and loving soul mate. 

Was how things were and how they always would be. 

In the end, they didn't need any words. Both knew what was going to happen. But... but Nico needed that moment, a last memory, a last glance of Percy's face, of his upset and angular face, of his surprised, handsome and tense, denying expression, asking Nico to not do it. He saw accusation, too, but he also knew, Percy would forgive him. One day.

Nico didn't need any more than that moment to draw the attention of the giant, he traveled through the shadows and did what had to be done, he let the air slowly enter his lungs and then he was swallowed by shadows, taking over Percy's place and throwing him far away from the giant, taking the final blow in his place. 

This time, he wouldn't escape, Nico thought smiling of his luck. 

Falling on the ground and moaning, Nico looked at the lit sky free of clouds as he took his hands and touched the wound in the middle of his chest. Blood filled him mouth, a metallic taste in his tongue and a sharp pain at the place where his heart should be. Now, there was nothing there, just a big hole and the pain that was spreading over his members faster than he could process until only the numbness lasted. 

It was the simple and pure paralysis of his body. 

He heard voices too, strange noises and echoes as if his ears were covered by water. Everything seemed quieter and softer, he only needed to sit back and let death take him away. Would be no more pain or anguish, just the silence that he had desired for so long, now.   

That feeling Nico knew well. There was nothing to fear and he even liked the death’s smooth veil. But nothing was that easy, and if he could, Nico would be frowning, because he could hear him. 

It was a roar, like a wounded animal in search of comfort, and there he knew, they wouldn't let him go without a good fight. Then, a hot hand was pressing his injuries and whispering words he couldn't understand, not completely. Nico struggled and blinked with his blurred vision, seeing a boy with long hair and green eyes, someone who insisted on not letting him rest and against his will, the reality came crashing back into him. 

Pain and solitude reached him when Nico could finally understand what was happening, recognizing that voice. Percy Jackson trying to bring him back to life.  

Nico didn't expect that. 

At all.

 "Nico! Hang on. I'm going get you out of this." The whispered voice sad, shaking out of compass, but not less resolute.

He blinked again and saw Percy crying for him. 

No one before had mourned for him.  

Nico felt he should be moved, but it was too late, wishing he could fight and say everything he has always wanted. And even if he had the strength, it wouldn't be fair to him or to Percy. Nico wouldn't destroy what had left of their life’s. Percy had a girlfriend and maybe he could still have his happily ever after.

 "Don't do that." He whispered, tired, with pain, closing his eyes. "I need to go." 

He smiled at last.  He would finally have his rest.

 "I won't let you." Percy sad quietly, in a coldness he only had seen on the battlefield.

 "You can't save me." 

Nico could already feel his soul been dragged to where it now belonged as the world seemed to vanish before his eyes.  

That was the truth; dying was easy, difficult was to live through so much pain and suffering, but all would be fine now that his bond with the living was dissolving. And yet, Nico could feel Percy's every useless try. He felt Percy's heat, pressing into him and trying to stop the bleeding. He felt the Ambrosia taste, a mouth touching his and air entering his collapsing lungs; and finally, the water crawling through his skin in another attempt to staunch the wound. 

Nothing worked. 

Nico wanted to hold Percy's arms and make him stop. 

Shaking, he smiled at Percy, weakly and feeble. After his short life and so many battles and disagreements, Nico forgives everything Percy had done to him because each painful feeling and every open wound meant nothing in the face of the immensity of the cycle of life. 

He forgives himself, too. 

He had run for so long, but now he understood. He had friends, even Annabeth seemed to care enough about him. He was resigned with his passing away and would like to tell all of this to Percy; that he wanted Percy to be happy beside Annabeth, but his strength had already run out, keeping his eyes open and his lungs working was done with a pain that Nico didn't think he could ever feel.

In the end, he would die, but Percy Jackson would survive and win the war for them. With a small smile on his face, Nico closed his eyes for the last time, seeing in his last moments the face of the one he loved most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... did you liked? Let me know and leave kudos or comments.
> 
> I just wanna warn you about somethings.   
> Here I don't plan talking about prophecies or the world endind. It's about Nico e Percy and what would happen and what they would do if Nico died in the last battle, ok? 
> 
> That said, thanks for reading!  
> See ya.


	3. Should've saved you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, how´s everyone doing?  
> Finally I bring a new chapter.   
> Sorry for the wait and a hope you all like it!

Years had passed since the defeat of Mother Earth. Years of sleepless nights and grim nightmares, where Percy hardly could remember, but what little he managed to, was enough.

The worst days of his life.

He could still taste the blood in his mouth and the death's acid odor in his nostril. Oh, and the screams! The reminder of the horror was what robbed him of his peace, but was only when his tears fall in the solitude of his room, in the middle of the nigh, that he allowed himself to feel. Remembering, always remembering. Screams of pain and misery and tortured grunts, the worst sounds he had ever heard. The silence, too, had taken a new sense, was the worst torture and was the memory of death and decay when nothing else had left; was to see Nico fallen to the ground, lifeless and pale like he never was supposed to be. That had been what had made his mind finally stop fighting, that had been his limit.

He wished he'd lost the gift the gods had given him, hovering over his head like a curse, and maybe, this way, he could be resting by Nico's side. But instead, Percy remembered how the familiar power had returned to him, without him having any control of it, as his body reacted as he well pleased. His tired muscles strained with the effort, and the energy flowed back to him, right from his body to his sword, as if Percy had never lost the curse of Achilles.

Invincible and miserable, Percy crossed the crowd of demigods and monsters, and with Riptide in his hands, he knelt in front of Nico's lifeless body.

 "Nico! Nico!" He shouted. He howled until his throat was hoarse. He shook his lifeless body and did everything he could.

Was a futile try. 

Percy put his hand on his own chest and squeezed it, looking for the piece of him that should've been there. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t see anything but the pain or hear, too. Just the silence. Nico's heart had stopped beating and, maybe his, had stopped together. He remembered then, ignoring everything else; the dead body at his feet, cries of pain and the rot smell in the air. In that moment, Percy had gone into a trance, he had gotten up, emptied his mind and kept his broken arm out of the way, focusing on the next cut and nothing but killing the next monster.

There was no reason to go on.

 "We have to go, Percy." He had heard Jason's muffled voice speak by his side, as if he were a scared little boy.

Percy watched Jason with his windy tornado, pushing away the monsters who tried to cross the barrier of air, pulling him carefully and diverting them from a claw that almost went against his chest. And by his other side, Annabeth, in full armor, wielded his dagger and shield, brave and determined to keep them safe.

Percy blinked and then shook his head, not quite sure when his friends had arrived, feeling his mind clear as a heavy, warm male hand gripped his shoulder, taking him away from Nico's body, reminding him of his goal.

Nico wouldn't die in vain.

"With me, Percy. Stay with me." Jason said to him, holding him by his face, hand slipping to his neck, turning his head to Jason and catching his attention. Jason had a worried expression and for the first time, Percy saw much more than what Jason had let shown up to that moment. He had looked terrified. "Are you with me?"

 "I am." Percy said. Maybe that were reason enough to keep on, after all.

With Jason by his side and Annabeth right behind, Percy wielded his sword until he had no strength left, only letting himself stop when he was sure no monster had remained, fainting from exhaustion right after. Keeping the demigods alive had been his only goal, and as long as the blood of the demigods' prophecy would not been taken, Gaia could not awaken.

***

Percy didn’t know who had ended the war or had killed the last giant. He was only aware of waking up in the infirmary of the half-blood camp after three weeks. It was what they had told him, and it was all he cared to know, cause now, as he watched the quiet Lake Erie, in New York, running its course, he wished he wasn't there. He didn't want to make part of this new world.

Nothing was the same.

The camps weren't what they used to be anymore. They seemed out of place and scrambled together, just like a cook mixing ingredients for a cake. It wasn't something bad, really. New Rome and the Camp half-blood had merged into a Greco-Roman identity, losing their individual characteristics. The demigods had joined forces in such a way that within a few months the changes were complete, even though they were not official. From the Greeks' side, came the loan of the half-blooded hill as training camp, and on the side of the Romans, were the expansion of New Rome. They turned the Romans city into a home for all demigods, welcoming those who wished for safe living and quality education.

Percy barely had time to feel overwhelmed. In one moment, he and Annabeth were training the same campers like they always did and, in the other, the cabins were extended and a wave of demigods invaded the camp. Nor could he understand what had happened to his friends; the ones who had survived the war seemed to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time. They weren't the same and much less was Percy, the son of Poseidon and hero of the Olympus, twice now.

The truth wasn't a nice one, he was moving away from every new change, preferring the sea's company rather than see what his life had become. He didn't even remember the last time he talked with Annabeth. I mean, if he could recognize the face of any demigod, would be a miracle. Jason had taken seriously his promise of not leaving the gods descendants by themselves. So, he just stopped going to the camp, because even if all these changes were reason to celebrate, Percy did not feel like a winner. Only one thing had left to him, go home and move on, just like everyone else was doing.

It was the right thing to do.

Sighing, Percy lay down on the grass and looked at the blue sky, picturing himself somewhere else, in another reality, where Nico would be by his side and alive. He would ask forgiveness and Nico would pretend he didn't listen and lie next to him, where everything would be all right again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I would love to hear about what you think about this. Any tips ou thoughts would come in handy.
> 
> Thank you for reading.^^

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos and comments! That would make my day very happy!


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